Navigating the Terrain of Sexual Exploration: A Hands-On Sex Education
Have you ever felt trapped in the monotonous cycle of dating, where the expectation of intimacy feels more like an obligation than a choice? I certainly have. After countless disappointments, I decided to take a break from dating altogether—a hiatus that inadvertently led me to explore the realms of my own sexuality.
In the conventional dating world, I often found myself succumbing to societal expectations, following a predetermined script that dictated the trajectory of intimacy. The cycle was all too familiar: a dinner date followed by an unspoken expectation of sex, penis in vagina sex. It felt like a trap— I was a trap, one that I repeatedly fell into despite my growing discomfort, one that I continued to consent to by just agreeing to go on a date.
I was like a sex camel, you know, I never needed water (sex). I got kind of thirsty at some point and instead of only staying in the safe black and white of the matter, bad sex or no sex, I jumped off the “no sex train” and I embarked on my journey on foot, slowly, slowing down to a walking pace my sexual re-exploration.
My sexuality journey took a transformative turn when I discovered sensual temple spaces and intimacy retreats, these held spaces embraced a sex-positive ethos that I was craving for. Here, I found a sanctuary where boundaries were respected, and consent was paramount. It was in these safe and supportive environments that I began to redefine my understanding of my sexuality and intimacy on my terms and my terms only.
Reflecting on my past experiences, I realized how limited my perspective had been how my understanding of sexuality had been formed, and contiued unchallenged into my early thirties. I had be educated- if that’s what you can call watching porn as a teen- that sex was really only PIV( penis in vagina). I knew “going down on someone”, “fingering”, “hand job” and “blow job” but these acts were really only “foreplay”… you know the stuff that comes before the big SHABANG!
Those sexual acts were defined in my mind by them coming before that big shabang, which tended to usually be a little or non-existent shabang, shabang. It was almost always like SHA!-blah, it ended in a blah instead of a bang.
It was through transformative experiences, such as those facilitated by educators like Raminta, that I truly began to reclaim sexuality. In these sacred spaces, guided by skilled facilitators, I embarked on a journey of self-discovery and empowerment. Here, participants were encouraged to communicate openly, setting clear boundaries and prioritizing consent above all else.
Through an experiential journey into sex education, I unearthed the profound essence of conscious sexuality—an intimate connection that surpasses societal standards, celebrating genuineness. Freed from the pressure to adhere to external norms, I abandoned self-imposed "shoulds" and embraced my passions with renewed certainty and self-belief. Discovering the courage to articulate my boundaries and desires empowered me to find my voice, while also nurturing self-compassion during moments of struggle to advocate for my true self.
As I journey through the realm of sexual exploration, I am thankful for the transformative encounters that have influenced my path. From immersive experiences in conscious sexuality, to visits to sensual temples in Berlin, and my dedication to self-discovery, I've embarked on a journey of empowerment and liberation—one that reveres the sacred nature of human sensuality. My comprehension of sacred sexuality has blossomed organically, as I cultivate my own core of conscious sexual awareness.
Written by: Annika Tara, Co-facilitator of the Intimate Playground Temple Retreats and team member of Sensuality Arts Annikatara.com
